Spirit what have you done?

Why have you brought me here again

I can’t see a reason, none!

 

Morning rises too quickly, I’m stranded here in this wilderness under the baking sun of a seemingly never ending day.

Exhausted of everything, no hope, no fight left and all faith in you Spirit, never in my time left to you I will pray.

 

Looking back at all the times, fatigued and against impossible odds I fought, never giving up for better I tried.

Please someone tell me truthfully what for I cried?

​

All my hopes and plans have evaded me as if I’d already given up and died. 

This is surely hell or just a place I sadly I know all too well.

​

Counting the vultures circling high, 5, 6 and 7 , I no longer wonder or care if there is a heaven.

 

Spirit appears and never more than in a whisper they go to speak.

No faith in them anymore, I raise my voice as I want answers.

I want to even my score.

I’m convinced that they are filled with no good but a mile wide evil streak.

 

“What you don’t understand boy…….”

I cut them off with a voice full of pure rage,

“Why do you treat me like you are a spoilt child and I’m a not so favourite toy?”

 

Unflustered by my words and anger Spirit continues….

“Time does not exist where we abide…”

Interrupting again I rant,

 

“So many things I have wanted that too many take for granted you have me denied.

I feel for all of my life I been fighting the incoming tide.

The good things I have tried to hold, you pick up in your hands, crumple them to dust, let blow in the wind and disappear.

You leave me with nothing but regret and fear”

 

Spirit looks to and into me

Searching they come to my wary heart, my tired and oh so old soul surrounded and capped with a wall of stone.

Looking at them I defiantly say,

“These are mine, all I have and never will you own.

​

Are you just the messenger?

Has my life been an accident of events or is there a plan. If you can’t give me the answers, get out of my way and I will find the boss who can.”

 

Again in no more than a whisper Spirit says

“You have a purpose not much more will I say, but you are destined to see beyond this day.

​

Keep doing what you do, make people smile and laugh.

You don’t know how many it helps even by half.

​

We know that it’s difficult to carry on when you hide your pain behind your smiley and happy mask

But remember when you took the job vacancy on this plane we warned you that it’s not going to be an easy task”.

 

Spirit turns to move away, the sun drops quickly bringing a much needed coolness to this closing day.

​

It seems in an instant I’m alone, the skies a mixture of black, purple and dark blue.

Slowly revealing night’s curtain of stars having left the sun to start another day somewhere all new. 

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Shooting stars their lives ending in a split second after eons of maybe a lonely life in a ball of flame.

Some witnessed and adored, some never seen or simply ignored.

Wondering if when my time here comes to an end which for me will it be the same.

​

I make myself comfy, I have no map out of this wilderness right now, sleep comes to me and I know it will be deep.

The last thought on my mind as I fade, this peace in my life right now even for the shortest of time I’m eager to keep.